Terms of service
THE SHORT VERSION
Don't be a problem and we won't have a problem.
By using this site, you agree: you're of legal age, you won't use our products or website for anything illegal, and you understand that buying a shirt from a lawyer-branded merch store does not create an attorney-client relationship. Nothing on this site is legal advice. If you need legal advice, retain an attorney — preferably one who is not selling you a hoodie.
Our designs, logos, and content belong to Narco Attorney LLC. Don't copy them.
All sales are final except for defects, misprints, or errors on our end (see our Return & Refund Policy for details).
Disputes get handled in Florida under Florida law, through individual arbitration rather than court or class actions. We'll always try to make it right before anything escalates.
Questions? support@narcoattorneymedia.com.
The full terms follow below.
TERMS OF SERVICE
Last updated: July 8, 2026
This website is operated by Narco Attorney LLC. Throughout the site, the terms "we," "us," and "our" refer to Narco Attorney LLC. By accessing or using this website, you agree to be bound by the following Terms of Service.
Please read these Terms carefully before using our website or purchasing from our store.
1. Online Store Terms
By using this site, you confirm that you are at least 18 years of age and the age of majority in your state or province of residence, or that you have given us consent to allow any of your minor dependents to use this site. You may not use our products for any illegal or unauthorized purpose, nor may you violate any laws in your jurisdiction while using the Service.
2. General Conditions
We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason at any time. You understand that your content (excluding payment information) may be transferred unencrypted and involve transmissions over various networks. Payment information is always encrypted during transfer.
3. Products & Availability
All products are subject to availability and may be limited in quantity. We reserve the right to discontinue or modify any product at any time without notice. We make every effort to display product descriptions and images accurately; however, we do not guarantee that your device's display will reflect colors or details perfectly.
4. Pricing & Payments
All prices are listed in U.S. dollars unless otherwise stated. Prices are subject to change without notice. We reserve the right to refuse or cancel any order placed with us. If an order is canceled after payment, a refund will be issued to the original payment method.
5. Shipping & Delivery
Shipping times and delivery estimates are not guaranteed. Once an order has been transferred to the carrier, we are not responsible for delays, loss, or damage caused by the shipping provider. Please refer to our Shipping Policy for additional details.
6. Returns & Refunds
All sales are final unless otherwise stated. Returns or refunds are accepted only in accordance with our Return & Refund Policy.
7. Accuracy of Information
We are not responsible if information made available on this site is inaccurate, incomplete, or not current. The material on this site is provided for general information only and should not be relied upon without consulting primary sources.
8. No Legal Advice
Narco Attorney LLC is a consumer merchandise and media brand. Nothing on this website, in our product descriptions, or in any associated content constitutes legal advice, and no attorney-client relationship is formed by your use of this site, purchase of our products, or consumption of our content. For legal advice, consult a licensed attorney in your jurisdiction.
9. Third-Party Links
Certain content or services may include materials from third parties. We are not responsible for examining or evaluating the content or accuracy of third-party websites and do not warrant or assume liability for them.
10. Intellectual Property
All content on this site, including but not limited to designs, graphics, logos, images, and text, is the property of Narco Attorney LLC and may not be reproduced, distributed, or used without our prior written permission. The NARCO ATTORNEY name and mark are owned by Rebecca Castaneda (U.S. Trademark Application Serial No. 97202148) and are used by Narco Attorney LLC under license. All rights not expressly granted are reserved.
11. Limitation of Liability
To the fullest extent permitted by law, Narco Attorney LLC shall not be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, punitive, or consequential damages arising from your use of the website or purchase of any products.
12. Dispute Resolution, Arbitration & Class Action Waiver
Informal resolution first. Before filing any formal claim, you agree to first contact us at support@narcoattorneymedia.com and attempt to resolve the dispute informally. We'll do the same. Most issues can be resolved without lawyers, and we prefer it that way.
Binding arbitration. If informal resolution fails within 30 days, any dispute, claim, or controversy arising out of or relating to these Terms, your use of this website, or your purchase of any products — whether based in contract, tort, statute, fraud, misrepresentation, or any other legal theory — shall be resolved through final and binding arbitration rather than in court, except as set forth below. Arbitration shall be administered by the American Arbitration Association (AAA) under its Consumer Arbitration Rules, in Hillsborough County, Florida, or by another mutually agreed-upon forum. The arbitrator's decision shall be final and binding and may be entered as a judgment in any court of competent jurisdiction.
Class action waiver. You and Narco Attorney LLC agree that any dispute will be brought in an individual capacity only, and not as a plaintiff or class member in any purported class, collective, representative, mass, or consolidated action. The arbitrator may not consolidate more than one person's claims and may not otherwise preside over any form of representative or class proceeding. If this class action waiver is found to be unenforceable, then the entirety of this arbitration provision shall be null and void, but the remaining provisions of these Terms shall remain in full force.
Exceptions. Either party may (a) bring an individual action in small claims court, or (b) seek injunctive or other equitable relief in a court of competent jurisdiction to prevent the actual or threatened infringement, misappropriation, or violation of intellectual property rights.
Opt-out. You may opt out of this arbitration agreement by sending written notice to support@narcoattorneymedia.com within 30 days of first accepting these Terms. Your notice must include your name, address, and a clear statement that you wish to opt out of arbitration. Opting out will not affect any other provision of these Terms.
Jury trial waiver. To the fullest extent permitted by law, you and Narco Attorney LLC waive any right to a jury trial of any dispute arising out of or relating to these Terms.
13. Indemnification
You agree to indemnify and hold harmless Narco Attorney LLC from any claim or demand arising out of your breach of these Terms or your violation of any law or third-party rights.
14. Governing Law & Venue
These Terms of Service shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of Florida, without regard to conflict-of-law principles. Subject to the arbitration provision in Section 12, any dispute not subject to arbitration shall be brought exclusively in the state or federal courts located in Hillsborough County, Florida.
15. Changes to Terms
We reserve the right to update, change, or replace any part of these Terms of Service at any time. Continued use of the website following any changes constitutes acceptance of those changes.
16. Contact Information
Questions about the Terms of Service should be sent to support@narcoattorneymedia.com.